All Things Teen

When I was in middle school the principal knew who I was. Not because I was a good student or anything like that, it was because I was in and out of his office all the time for misbehaving. One afternoon, while I was serving out my punishment by running laps around the school, a coach took some time to very gently talk to me about my actions. The coach let me know he could see the potential in me even though I was making bad decisions. The coach’s actions really caught my attention because he was the first person who didn’t just immediately label me as hopeless because I was a “bad” kid. The coach continued to make a difference in my life for many years. His impact on my life was powerful enough for me to turn my actions around and start behaving in school. I’ll never forget all of the life lessons he imparted on me during our time together, and I’m forever grateful for his encouragement and dedication to mentoring me. Coach, I’m glad you were there.

To share your own #gladyouwerethere story, visit liveonpoint.org/2013

I’m walking down the hall of my high school, smiling, thinking to myself about all the exiting things getting ready to happen in my life. I’m going to college next year and I’m elated about the fact that I’ll be rooming with my best friend. Plus, my new boyfriend was going to be at school with me too. Fast forward to my first month of college. Nothing is as I thought it would be. My best friend decided drinking is way more fun than going to class, and to make matters worse, my boyfriend has also adopted that philosophy. All of the sudden I feel alone, isolated and sad.

On a particularly lonely day, I decide to give into my new classmates pleas to attend a Campus Crusade for Christ service with them.  After the service I have the opportunity to meet one very special lady. She is a volunteer that comes every week to help out with the service. After talking with her for a little while, she encourages me to meet with her once a week for coffee. Weeks turn into months and I slowly find myself feeling less isolated, less alone and happy. I begin to see a transformation taking place in my heart as a result of those weekly chats we shared over coffee. I had learned how to be confident in myself and the decisions I was making.  Krista Steel, I’m glad you were there.

Faith Sims is a Think On Point Educator. Think On Point is a program designed to decrease sexual activity and linked risk behaviors while equipping youth to engage in positive, healthy relationships.

Teaching at Orchard Knob has always been a struggle, this year however was the toughest.  I dealt with disciplinary problems, lack of attention and motivation for education, lack of respect for authority and classmates, and I actually broke up a fight that occurred unexpectedly during class time.  I found it very difficult to teach a lesson.  The young ladies were very guarded, aggressive, and tended to be on the defensive with everything that was said. Teaching there felt hopeless.  While the girls displayed this aggressiveness I could see the hurt in their eyes,  They begin to open up and ask me personal questions.  They were eager to know if I had practiced abstinence.  They automatically assumed that I had been and was currently sexually active despite the fact that I am single and teaching them to abstain from sex until marriage.  They see so much hypocrisy.  So many of them are raising themselves and younger siblings.  The majority of  them are living in single parent homes and witness mom and dad having multiple relationships that lack commitment and faithfulness.  To see their faces beaming when I told them that I was a virgin and planned to remain one until marriage brought joy to my heart.  They begin to now feel that they didn’t have to give in to the peer pressure.  Some took a sigh of relief now knowing that they didn’t have to be products of their environment.  The girls that were originally skeptical about abstinence and delaying dating relationships in 7th and 8th grade now decided that they would wait for Mr. Right.  I saw hope in their eyes.  I was then able to educate them on the importance of developing standards and boundaries if they were to remain abstinent.  I was able to encourage them to be and act like young ladies that love, treasure, and respect themselves first.

Life as a teenager can be very stressful. From dealing with relationships and friendships to navigating the challenging waters of high school and life after graduation, there’s certainly a lot to be stressed about as a teen. Typically, teens don’t have enough life experience to handle certain stressful situations correctly. They tend to gravitate towards unhealthy ways of coping, such as alcohol or drug use. In a recent Life On Point group at Central High School, group members talked about stressful situations, and in conjunction, developed a list of healthy coping mechanisms.

Upon arriving to the Life On Point group one day, students at Central High School were given the following scenarios:

1. You just learned that your mom was in a car accident and has been rushed to the emergency room on the other side of town. You just moved to this city, have no relatives here, don’t have a car and you only have $2.00 in your wallet. What do you do?

2. You see your manager stealing money from the cash register while the two of you are working. Your manager doesn't know you saw him. What do you do?

The students worked in groups of four to come up with healthy ways to cope with the situations given. Later, students were given the opportunity to share in front of the group. Group sharing time is always a great way to gain a lot of discussion from the students and allows group members to learn from their peers. To wrap up the discussion, students shared coping skills and discussed the benefits of choosing healthy alternatives for stressful situations.

As I hand out countless slices of pizza to a sea of eager boys and girls week after week in our Life On Point group at Central High School, I wonder to myself, is anything we’re discussing with them sinking in? Today, as we celebrate the end of the year and hold our last group meeting, the answer to that question was provided to me. In an open, very casual discussion we asked the students their thoughts about the following question:

Q: What “take away” did you get from the Life On Point group this year?

A: “Just knowing that you guys (Life On Point leaders) are there to motivate us means so much.”

“I’ve learned how to make smart decisions and weigh the consequences before I make a decision.”

“I learned about the importance of going to college. I had never visited a college before, but after the On Point field trip to UT, I’ve applied and will start college there in the fall.”

“I learned about goal setting and the importance of planning ahead if you want to achieve specific goals.”

“I’m really glad we talked about dating, now I know how to treat a lady with respect.”

“I really enjoyed talking about how to handle stressful situations, as a senior in high school, I get stressed a lot, and that lesson has helped me learn how to deal with all the stress I experience.”

As the feedback continued until the bell rang, tears started forming in my eyes, as I realized just how much of an impact this program has on the students. I feel very privileged to have the opportunity to help make a difference in the lives of youth in our community!

“Honey, we need to talk.” My mother’s words echoed through the house and immediately I broke into a nervous sweat thinking to myself, oh no, what now?!  The discussion that followed was one about underage drinking. I was embarking on my sophomore year of high school and the phone lines between the PTA moms had been buzzing all summer with scandalous stories of local high schoolers involved in underage drinking.

The next hour of my life was spent talking about the dangers of alcohol abuse and underage drinking. This conversation was the first of many, many conversations about this same topic. While I always dreaded these conversations, in retrospect, my mother’s determination to have these conversations with me early and often were a lifesaver in college. While it may be awkward to talk to your teen about dangerous behavior like underage drinking, having routine conversations about important topics is crucial for healthy youth development.

Some conversation topics that are necessary to discuss with your teen might be uncomfortable, so to ease your mind, here are some points to consider when having a discussion:

1. Start the conversation early! Experts say that by the time students are 12 or 13 they should know about the dangers of underage drinking. In fact, if you’re not having conversations about underage drinking in middle school you’re behind, as the CDC recently reported that 33% of 8th graders have tried alcohol before.

2. Before you start disseminating everything you know, ask your child what they know about the topic.

3. Based on what your child thinks or knows about underage drinking, share facts with them to reinforce the truth on the topic. For underage drinking statistics or facts, visit http://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/underage-drinking.htm

4. Spend ample amount of time having an open discussion about the consequences associated with underage drinking; including hanging out with other teens who are drinking.

5. Talk about the peer pressure associated with your teen pledging not to drink underage, and discuss coping skills to combat the pressure he or she may feel from their peers.

The vast majority of teens report that their parents are their number one source of information and support, so use this power wisely and make a commitment to keep the lines of communication open and consistent!

Growing up comes with growing pains. Pains can come from the many changes one experiences in their teenage and early adult years. Graduating high school, entering college, starting your first job, getting married and having children are things that can be very exciting, yet challenging at the same time. In those crucial life moments can you think of a person who shaped your life? Can you say “I’m glad you were there to someone specific?"

You may have noticed this image featured on billboards around town. The athlete in this photograph is a strong, confident, young man armed with the knowledge and support to make smart decisions for his future. But he wasn't always this way. He needed guidance, support and love from adults to keep him on the right track.

On Point’s current media campaign exists to bridge the gap between youth and adults by collectively sharing our stories of gratitude about the people who challenged us to look into our future with hope. We need YOU! Can you say I’m glad you were there to someone? If you can, share your story with us. It’s as easy as visiting liveonpoint.org/2013, scrolling to the bottom of the page and clicking the button that says 'send us your story to be published.' We can’t wait to hear from you!

P.S. While you’re on our website, spend some time reading the stories of inspiration that have already been submitted and published.

Spring is here, flowers are blooming, the sun is shining, and love is in the air. Or is it?! Picture this scenario: Your son or daughter returns home from school one day in a noticeably cheery mood. You ask them the reason behind their unusually happy disposition; they flash a huge smile and start gushing about their latest crush. As the months progress this little “crush” turns into a full blown, ‘I love you forever’ relationship. More time progresses and you slowly start to see less and less of your child’s friends and more and more of their significant other.  At this point, you start to wonder to yourself, is my teen in a healthy relationship?

It’s very important to talk to your teen about the qualities and characteristics of healthy vs. unhealthy relationships before they even begin to date. Talking to your teen early about this issue helps them to recognize warning signs before a relationship gets to an unhealthy place.  The following is taken from On Point’s Is It Love? brochure. To learn more about this brochure, please contact Kimberly at 899-9188.

Characteristics of a healthy relationship

-Honesty: Each partner is always truthful and doesn't tell “little white lies” to cover up things.

-Separate Identities: Each partner has their own lives—friends, families, hobbies and sports, etc.

-Good Communication: The couple speaks openly and honestly to each other to avoid misunderstanding.

Characteristics of an unhealthy relationship

-Social Isolation: Partners may notice they have fewer friends and are spending all of their time with their significant other.

-Jealousy and Fear: Your partner may become mistrusting and suspicious.

-Verbal Criticisms:  Partners my feel toxic shame, guilt, and loss of esteem and competence.

As I gratefully reflect on the outstanding evening and outcomes from the On Point Annual Dinner, I want to share my most meaningful moment with you.

“Mr. Daly, I think my life sounds a lot like yours.” Those were the words I overheard Michael*, a young man on the On Point Teen Board, share with keynote speaker and President of Focus on the Family after the event.  Like Jim Daly, Michael has experienced loss and pain.  Yet, also like Jim Daly, Michael demonstrates AMAZING resilience, talent and vision for his future.

As Michael shared parts of his life story with Jim Daly, I was moved to see Jim put his arm around this young boy and speak words of encouragement and truth. Jim spoke to Michael intently, as if no one else was in the room.  As Michael listened, I watched a broad smile come across his face.

I don’t know the words Jim Daly spoke to Michael.  But I bet they will stick with him for a lifetime.  And the spark I saw in Michael, in that moment, will stick with me forever.

You see, while Daly’s journey from orphan to head of Focus on the Family is truly unique and remarkable, his childhood struggles mirror so many youth On Point serves.  Stories of abandonment, violence, and loss are weaved through our days as On Point educators and mentors.  Simultaneously, like Jim, these stories resonate with resilience and strength, crying out for guidance towards a hopeful future. Thank you for your commitment to On Point and the 14,000 youth we will serve this year.

*Actual name changed

As prom season is upon us, recently, students at a Life On Point group had the opportunity to hear a guest speaker talk about the importance of making good choices on prom night. As a parent, you can better prepare your teen to make smart decisions at prom if you have important conversations with them beforehand. Here are some specifics you may want to discuss with your teenager:

• Discuss concrete plans for the evening. Where are they going to dinner? Who will be there? Where will they go after prom?

• Decide on a curfew and discuss consequences if the curfew is violated.

• Talk with your child about the importance of contacting you if plans change.

• Although this may be awkward, don’t miss this opportunity to talk with your teen about the peer pressures associated with prom. Talk with your child about the risk factors connected to teenage drinking, drug use and sex. Work with them to create a plan to avoid these unhealthy behaviors.

• Let them know it’s okay to call you if they feel unsafe. Stress the fact that no matter what the circumstances, you will come pick them up or talk with them through an awkward situation.

• Lastly, encourage your teen to have fun, but to make wise choices!

Students in a Life On Point group learn how to make good choices at prom.

It’s April, which means college acceptance or rejection letters will start rolling in any day now. If you’re the parent of a high school senior, you are probably just as nervous, if not more nervous than your teenager.  With colleges reporting record breaking application numbers, the competition has become increasingly challenging in the last few years. Despite the fact that you’ve watched your child agonize over the roller coaster of emotions surrounding the college application process, what do you do if that dreaded rejection letter comes in the mail?

-Emphasize to your child that the rejection is not personal. Reiterate the fact that colleges only have a certain number of spots to fill and that your child may have been perfectly qualified, despite the fact that they didn’t get in. Praise your child for the acceptance letters they did receive, even if they came from your child’s second or third choice school.

-Leave it up to your child to choose who they share the news with. As a parent, your first instinct might be to call your entire extended family and share the news. Be aware that this might really hurt your child’s feelings. It’s best to sympathize with your child during the difficult time and allow them to share their feelings with others when they are ready.

-After your teen has some time to process, encourage them to think realistically and positively about a viable "plan B.” Did another school offer a generous financial aid package? Could your child get their prerequisites out of the way at a smaller college and then transfer to their dream college after two years?  Emphasize to your teen that there are many routes one can take to achieve their dream. Just because they didn’t get into their first choice doesn’t mean they won’t be a successful later in life!

Recently, in a story taking place in Ridgewood, N.J., a group of high school girls used the latest smartphone app, Snapchat, to send risqué photos of themselves to boys in their class. If you’re unfamiliar with Snapchat, it functions to allow users to send pictures to others that “self destruct” after 10 seconds.  Of course, it isn’t hard to predict what happens next, the boys receiving the pictures took screen shots of the Snapchat photos and put them on the internet using another social media tool, Instagram.

The story out of Ridgewood isn’ t an exception. This same story is happening all over the country, and with teens spending an average of eight hours a day on electronic media, as a parent, the best thing you can do is to be informed.  The worry most parents have about their children sharing compromising photos on facebook is just scratching the surface these days. Now, teens have a plethora of social media sites that they can share content and photos on, most of which, are accessible by their mobile devices.

Stay informed—Among the most popular social media apps with teens today are Instagram, Snapchat and Kik Messenger. Do research on these apps and familiarize yourself with the fine print, i.e., privacy settings must be turned on to prevent anyone from searching through your child’s Instagram account.

Help your teen be safe online—Talk to your teen about always making sure privacy settings are turned on and that only their friends that they accept can view their information. Also, ask your teen to not accept any friend requests unless you are present so you can go over the choices together. Lastly, stress the fact that once something is said or a photo is uploaded online, it never goes away, even if you delete it. Use this opportunity to talk with your teen about what is appropriate to post online.

Keep the lines of communication open—Make it a priority to have uninterrupted family time at least several times a week. Occasionally, use this time to check in with your teens about what they are doing online. Having open, honest conversations on a regular basis with your teen will allow them to feel more comfortable always coming to you with the issues they are facing.

To read more about the latest social media trends/safe cell phone usage for teens, visit: http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2012/04/22/have-talk-with-your-teen-about-social-media/

Members of the On Point Teen Board spend time discussing safe social media habits to a group of Life On Point middle school students.

Bob Bosworth has donated both time and resources to On Point by supporting our work with youth personally and through his work with Hamico, Inc. Bob is married to Susan and attends Rock Creek Fellowship. Bob recently retired as the president and COO of Chattem and moved to become Vice President and Director of Hamico, Inc., a private foundation.  We value Bob’s friendship and business knowledge and frequently turn to him for advice. I recently sat down with Bob and asked him to tell me about why he supports On Point:

You have been a faithful and passionate supporter of On Point for years. How were you first introduced to the work of On Point?

I was first introduced to On Point many years ago through the church I was attending at the time, Lookout Mountain Presbyterian. The church and many of its members support On Point.

What was your initial impression of On Point?

My initial thoughts were that On Point was simply abstinence education. While that is important, I was impressed when I learned that what you have to offer is much more holistic than that. You address the whole teen,which is so needed in our community!

You support On Point both personally, along with your wife, and professionally, through Hamico, Inc. What factored into your personal decision to support On Point?

My wife and I have always had a heart for the inner city and for underprivileged youth. There is such an absence of positive authority figures. I have seen a lot of great practical efforts to provide food, housing and job training. What On Point provides is more holistic and addresses the root issues that lead to poverty, hopelessness and lack of education.

My daughter used to teach at a Chattanooga elementary school with a high number of underprivileged students. Already, by 5th grade, they had a very warped sense of healthy relationships, marriage, conflict resolution and their own futures. There seemed to be no adults modeling these things in their lives. On Point provides those adults.

I also appreciate that On Point moves beyond the inner-city schools to teach and support students in the suburban and private schools. Kids of all socioeconomic backgrounds struggle to make healthy choices and deal with stress. We need this type of leadership training in all of our schools.

What factored into Hamico Inc.’s decision to support On Point?

Many of them overlap my personal reasons, but there are really 4 things I find unique about On Point:

1. On Point’s Heart-The heart of On Point is truly for our youth. On Point takes a holistic approach to youth development, addressing physical, emotional, health, academic and character needs.

2. Partnership-The desire to impact the whole teen leads On Point to partner with other organizations, schools, churches and businesses to have the greatest impact on teens. I think the desire to put egos aside and truly partner is rare in the non-profit world, but everywhere I go, I hear about On Point and their involvement with anything that helps teens.

3. Connection- Unfortunately, some faith-based youth initiatives and secular youth development organizations do not have a strong history of partnership. On Point has the unique ability to bring together secular and faith-based organizations for the greater good of serving youth. What On Point does appeals to a wide variety of supporters.

4. Leadership-I have always been impressed by the humility of the leadership at On Point and their ability to surround themselves with a team of passionate professionals who care so deeply about our youth. Hamico Inc. has faith in the leadership and the team at On Point.

Is there a particular story or moment that stands out to your in your time as an On Point supporter?

Lesley Scearce (CEO, On Point) and Linda McReynolds (formerly led the Ready By 21 Project at the United Way) presented an overview of On Point at Chattem explaining what teens need to thrive and what we can all do to make a difference. Chattem employs a socio-economically diverse group of people and it was impactful to hear the positive reactions to the presentation from a variety of different people.

Another moment that stands out was at last year’s fund-raising dinner. I had a chance to talk with a young girl, who is a member of On Point’s Teen Board, and her father. As he shared with me what a blessing On Point was to his daughter and his family, it really began to come together for me. I realized that the impact that On Point has on this family is just one example of what they are doing across the city.

I could probably list 100 more, but those are two that really shaped my opinion of On Point and their impact.

It was truly a pleasure to talk with Bob. We ended our session with him asking me how I came to work for On Point and why I was still here after four years. We joked that he was now interviewing me for his blog. It was nice to have the opportunity to share my passion for the work that we do and my delight in working with a caring and committed staff. Thank you Bob!

Sarah stared at the survey placed in front of her for quite a while, her vision blurred by the tears she was trying her best to hold back. The survey was designed to measure students’ preparedness for high school graduation, while simultaneously gauging intentions for entering college.  As Sarah thoughtfully answered the questions on the survey, she couldn’t help but be proud; after all, she was the first high school graduate in her family and additionally, she had aspirations of attending a four- year college.

Sarah’s story is echoed throughout our community, as we are seeing more and more first-generation graduates than ever before.  In fact, new data from America’s Promise Alliance shows that the graduation rate in Tennessee is at an all time high of 85.5%. As a state once noted for its staggering drop-out rate, Tennessee is poised to continue to turn out more and more graduates than ever before.

On Point recognizes that students need ample amount of support to stay in school and graduate on time, so in an effort to facilitate those goals, the On Point Teen Board members recently planned and executed a graduation summit. The event, held in February, marked the second Graduation Summit hosted by On Point, and over 180 students from five area high schools attended the event.

Workshops, which were developed based on student preference surveys, included topics ranging from making healthy choices to keep college options open, adequate academic preparation, and securing sufficient funding.   “The ultimate goal of the graduation summit was to ensure students in our community continue to graduate at rates much higher than the national and state norms,” said Mary Rausch, Community Partnerships Coordinator for On Point. “In addition, we wanted students to be actively involved in their education, so at the summit we asked students to consider their commitment to graduate and identify any risk factors that could stand in their way.”

On Point would like to thank the many community partners that made the event possible including, HCDE, SunTrust, YMCA, Girls Inc, The Community Foundation, Chick-Fil-A and UTC.

Marla McDaniel donates both time and resources to On Point. Marla is the wife of Andy and a mom of two boys. Marla is a speech-language pathologist and has worked with preschool and elementary students throughout Hamilton County.  I recently sat down with Marla and asked her to tell me about why she gives to On Point:

You have been a faithful volunteer and financial supporter of On Point for a few years now. How did you first get involved with On Point?

I met Lesley (On Point’s CEO) at a dinner event 3 years ago. I asked her what she did and she told me about On Point. She invited me to learn more as a guest at On Point’s annual dinner. I was really impressed with what I heard and saw that night and I wanted to get more involved. When I found myself with a more flexible schedule, I called Lesley up and let her know I wanted to volunteer. I came to the office and met with Amy Person (On Point Executive Director) and began volunteering in her Life On Point group at Sequoyah High School. This year, I added Central High school and am now volunteering in both schools every week.

Being a Life On Point volunteer is a weekly time commitment. What made you want to invest that kind of time and volunteer?

As a pediatric speech therapist, I have a teacher’s heart for kids. Although I worked mostly with preschool and young elementary students, I have a soft spot for teens. I think it is very hard to be a teenager in today’s world. I believe teens are so unique and have so much to offer but many of them have no one who will listen to them. There are a lot of tough decisions to be made in the teen years. I want teens to know that they can make the right choices that will make their lives better. I had a mom and dad and others in my life telling me this. Some of these teens don’t have that and I believe everyone deserves that conversation.

You talk about being there for teens and wanting to be someone in their lives who will offer important advice and support. Who in your life did that for you? Is there a particular mentor who stands out?

I was blessed to be surrounded by people who did this for me. My parents, teachers and youth leaders at church all listened, shared advice and held me accountable for my actions. I guess the ones who really stood out to me were my choral and theater directors. They always went above and beyond the call of duty giving up their off time to help us raise money and put in extra rehearsal time. They encouraged our talent and helped us believe in ourselves and our futures.

What are the moments that stand out to you as a volunteer that make want to keep coming back year after year?

I think the moment that stands out to me and really made me want to get involved was that first fundraising dinner I attended in 2010. I was impressed that so many people in our community cared and were so invested in the work On Point is doing with local teens. I am passionate about the message On Point delivers and it was nice to see there are so many others who share my passion. I love getting to know the teens. Central is a bigger group, so it has been a challenge to get to know everyone, but I like being able to go in and call them by name. I love the way that On Point delivers the message of making healthy choices. The curriculum and staff approach teens without shame or confrontation. On Point shares the truth with love and empowers teens to make their own decisions.

You and your husband give generously to On Point. What drives your decision to give of your financial resources and how do you chose what you give to?

I just really feel like this message is important. I want teens to know that they have a future and that they can make the right choices that will lead to that future. I know that if I didn’t have my parents, teachers and Church Youth Directors who told me these things, my life today would be very different. I think every teen deserves to hear that message and I want to support On Point with my time and resources to make that happen.

I want to thank Marla for her willingness to share her heart and for her generous contributions of time and resources to the youth at Sequoyah and Central High Schools. If you are interested in learning more about volunteering and/or giving to On Point, please contact Shannon Mathews at 899-9811 x 108 or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

In case you missed it, On Point's Annual Dinner was recently highlighted in the news:

What breaks us makes us stronger if we let it, was a theme at On Point's annual dinner Thursday night. Central High School senior Adareus Jackson is an example of this, just as much as Jim Daly, the national president of Focus on the Family, keynote speaker of the fundraising event.

On Point is a Hixson-based program that works to help teens in the region's schools learn to make good life decisions through a variety of mentorship programs. Jackson said the Life On Point program at Central High School changed his life."It kept me out of trouble and taught me how to be a leader," he said. Because of the decisions the program helped him make, he is graduating and going to college.

The dinner wasn't just a time to celebrate Jackson's success, but to honor all the youths like him who are making positive life decisions. "Helping youth thrive is the mission of On Point," Lesley Scearce, the CEO, said.

The theme of the night was "Glad You Were There," which focused on people who make a difference in others' lives and help them succeed.

Daly told his story of how someone made a difference in his life.When Daly was 5, his alcoholic father abandoned his family. Four years later his mother died of cancer and his stepfather took everything from the family home while Daly and his four older siblings were at her funeral. Years of sometimes-traumatic foster care followed. In high school, a sports coach entered his life, showing care and sharing faith that Daly said changed his life. These painful experiences shaped his life and his ministry, he said.

"People that work with kids like I was are close to my heart," Daly said. "On Point has a great spirit and a creative approach to reaching kids. I would be excited to collaborate with them in the future." Cecelia Cameron, Hixson High School senior class president, said being involved with On Point's Teen Board has taught lifelong leadership skills.

The Palmer Griffin Teen Board Memorial Scholarship was given to Savannah Clay from Silverdale Baptist and Bria Ramsey from East Hamilton. And Jackson became the recipient of the Kris Frainie Founders Scholarship, which he will use toward his education at University of Tennessee at Chattanooga.

http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/2013/mar/01/getting-stronger/?local

In honor of National Mentoring Month, I recently sat down with long-time Life On Point facilitator, Ed Hines. Mr. Hines has worked with On Point for many years, and before that, he spent over 20 years at the Boys and Girls club. With over 30 years of experience working with teenagers, he’s mentored hundreds of students; however, when Ed met Torrey three years ago, he had no idea of the relationship that would unfold in the coming years:

“I met Torrey when he was a sophomore in High School. At that time, Torrey started participating in On Point and I had the opportunity to build a relationship with him through his involvement with our Teen Board. I quickly saw the potential in this young man; despite a rough home life, Torrey maintained an excellent GPA.  Torrey has expressed great interest in pursuing college after graduation and I’ve never hesitated to encourage him to make this dream a reality.  Torrey is a senior now, and over the years I've had the privilege of watching him grow into a confident, driven young man. I have no doubt that Torrey will go on to college and carry out all of his dreams and goals.”

Ed says he has always been drawn to help young men who need positive role models in their lives. When I asked Ed what qualities he thought made a great mentor, he noted that simply listening and speaking words of encouragement go along way with teenagers. This year, as Ed celebrates 10 years at On Point, we want to thank him for the time and dedication he has shown to the youth in our community. Thank you, Ed, your hard work is shown through the many lives you’ve touched!

The average teen, the statistic, and even the trouble-maker; I could have been placed in those groups.  However, I am on the road to success.

Being raised in a single parent household and the struggles of the teen years could hold me back. But I don’t hold it as an excuse and I will not become a statistic. I want to stand apart from the crowd—I want to be a leader.

I joined On Point’s Life On Point group my freshman year of high school and I immediately knew my involvement was going to be a positive influence on my life. Most recently, I joined Serve On Point and the Teen board, to give back in our community, which I also really enjoy. I know the person I am today can be greatly attributed to the guidance I’ve received through On Point.  Thanks to my participation I am a confident, strong young lady, armed with the knowledge to make good decisions for my future!

I was recently talking with one of our faithful On Point volunteers about her experiences leading Life On Point groups. She said, “I don’t think it is always about having words of wisdom or having the perfect thing to say to a teen. Sometimes it is just about being there for them and giving them a voice.”  I instantly thought of my mom. My mom gave me a lot of advice growing up, but what I remember and appreciate more than anything she said was her presence and her listening ear. She asked me once what my best memories of growing up were. She was surprised when I didn’t answer with stories of vacations, holidays or gifts, but instead brought up the walks we used to take in our neighborhood each evening. This was a time to just be together and talk and I have always treasured that.

People often think they have to be an expert in child psychology or need some special training to be able to mentor a child or teen. I think it is more about being there, listening and offering simple advice on how to make the wise and healthy decisions that will lead them to a bright future. I encourage anyone who has a heart for youth to let go of any fear or hesitation and give mentoring a try. I think you will find the rewards will far outweigh the uncertainty.

Walter Lindsay, a local pastor, shares his story about mentoring a young man attending his church:

There is a young man who has been coming to our church for a couple of years. He and his girlfriend have been living together for more than three years. I began to mentor him earlier this year and was able to get him to attend a men’s group I am teaching on Sunday evenings. Additionally, he and his girlfriend begin to attend the Sunday School class I am teaching. I began to notice him being convicted by the lessons being taught. On December 18 of last year, he and his girlfriend were married. On New Year’s Eve I met with the two of them at their apartment and after sharing the gospel with them, both of them repented and received Christ as Lord and Savior. They joined the church this past Sunday and will be baptized new week. As they stood before the church, his wife said she was very thankful for me spending time with him because of the difference it had made in his life.

As a sophomore dealing with some significant pain, which I had grown skilled at masking, Carolyn Owens providentially entered my life.  In the late eighties, as an educator teaching an elective course, Ms. Owens was on campus at my high school several times a week.  Interestingly, I wasn’t even her student.  However, her spirit was radiant and I was drawn to the peace I felt each time I spoke with her.  Our casual “hallway chats” soon turned to “drop-ins” after school.  Those “drop-ins” became a life line for me throughout those tenuous years.  Given her tenderness, patience, and wisdom, she never “pried” violently into the pain behind my glassy smile.  However, I feel certain she knew far more than I ever revealed.  Ultimately, she journeyed beside me throughout both my high school and college career, even assisting me in seeking resources to attend and remain at a private college.  In my college box of memorabilia, I still have letters sent from either Ms. Owens or anonymous writers she engaged to encourage me on my journey.  Several years after college, one of my poignant memories is of leaving a school (after teaching our Think On Point Program) and seeing her little car parked outside of the school.  Returning inside to find her, I remember thinking “It’s my turn now.”  It is my hope that each of us who Carolyn Owens mentored, and I know there are many, are sprinkled throughout the world building into the lives of others….oh, the power of her ONE faithful life.

In honor of National Mentoring Month, I wanted to recognize two very influential mentors in my life, my parents. My parents taught me about the “important stuff” in life; the stuff that can’t be taught in classrooms or read in books. I’ll admit, while my parents were teaching me about the “important stuff” I mostly furrowed my brow and rolled my eyes. It wasn’t until years later that I began to recognize the huge blessing I had received by having parents who cared enough to take the time to teach me about life. As I think back on the lessons my parents taught me, I realized I learned a lot. I learned about unconditional love, about the importance of working hard and being proud of the work you do, I learned how to care for others and most importantly, I learned that no matter what was going on in my life, I had a family that was always going to be there for me. Thanks Mom and Dad, for teaching me about the “stuff” I couldn’t learn on my own, and most importantly, for loving me unconditionally.

The students at Hixson High are definitely “on point” when it comes to service - and the holidays seems to motivate them even more! A group of 20 students have elected to stay after school to plan and participate in a variety of service-learning initiatives that not only make a difference in the community, but also help them learn leadership skills while developing a deeper compassion for others. They enjoyed researching and creating age-appropriate fall activities for the children at Chambliss Shelter. And immediately after that, they organized a food drive at their school to contribute to the pantries at Family Promise, an organization that works with families facing homelessness. Finally, they selected and personally donated gifts  for the children at Room in the Inn to wrap and give to their own moms.  As a result, one student reflected, “You never really know what others are going through - but, when I stop to think about it, I feel really grateful.”  Equipping students to become servant-leaders is the goal of Serve On Point…and gratitude is an amazing asset for all who want to serve and lead!

University of Virginia College student,Yeardley Love had been dating her boyfriend for nearly two years before she noticed signs of violence from him. Unfortunately, she picked up on his abusive behavior too late; Yeardley was found dead in her college apartment just two weeks before graduation. Love had been severely beaten to death by her boyfriend.

Unfortunately, dating violence is all too common among teens. According to loveisrespect.org, 1 in 3 teenagers is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner. Even more startling is the fact that  one in 11 high school students reports being physically hurt by someone they were dating.  Because it can often be difficult to know that your teen may be in an abusive relationship, the best thing you can do as a parent is be informed about all types of dating abuse and pay attention to your child’s behavior as you look for warning signs of an abusive relationship.

The three most common types of dating abuse include physical, emotional and sexual.

•    Physical abuse – includes pinching, hitting, shoving or kicking.

•    Emotional abuse – includes threatening, name calling, teasing, bullying, or keeping a teen away from friends and family.

•    Sexual abuse – forcing a someone to engage in a sex act (includes fondling and rape)

In addition to the physical and emotional threats, teen dating violence can affect teens throughout their lives.  Teens who are abused are more likely to do poorly in school and engage in unhealthy behaviors such as sex, drugs and alcohol.  Stress and anger from abusive relationships can cause teens to develop eating disorders, and in some cases, attempt suicide.  Sadly, abused teens commonly carry patterns of violence into future relationships.

Dating abuse is a serious problem in the United States, but many times this abuse goes unreported because teens are afraid to tell friends and family.  Warning signs that a teen is being abused include loss of identity, depression, breakdown of coping skills, visible injuries, and social isolation.

Think media doesn’t have an effect on you? Find out by playing this fun pop culture quiz with your teens!

Name the company that goes with the corresponding slogan:

1. Save Money. Live Better.

2. Live in your world. Play in ours.

3. The happiest place on earth.

4.  it’s everywhere you want to be.

5.  Eat Fresh.

6.  I’m lovin’ it.

7.  Challenge everything.

8.  Good to the last drop.

9.  Have it your way.

10  Twist the cap to refreshment.

11  Buy It. Sell It. Love It.

12  Imagination at work.

13  You’re in good hands.

14  Zoom, Zoom, Zoom

15  Expect more. Pay less.

Students in a Life On Point group at Walker Valley High School take the Pop Culture Quiz
while learning about world-view and media.

Answers: Walmart, Playstation, Disneyland, Visa, Subway, McDonalds, EA Sports, Maxwell House, Burger King, Coca-Cola, Ebay, GE, AllState, Mazda, Target

In order to get a taste of life after high school, Life On Point students from Central High School visit Lee University and University of Tennessee to learn about admissions, financial aid, student life and majors. One of the major components of the Life On Point curriculum focuses on talking with students about their future goals and plans after high school.

Yesterday I was overjoyed to receive a call at home from a long ago On Point graduate. This resilient young woman experienced a rocky road through adolescence – from facing poverty to an unplanned pregnancy.  Today, as a young woman she has developed into a wonderful mother and soon to be college graduate.  She called to express her thanks, and invite us to her graduation next month.

This thanksgiving, the best way to express my thanks to you is to pass on her gratitude for On Point.  She said “If it weren’t for you all at On Point, and your ongoing support, I wouldn’t be graduating this December.” Research shows that less than 2% of teenage mothers obtain a college degree by age 30, and a mother’s level of education is tightly linked to a child’s success in school and in life.

I am so proud of her! Despite past choices, she overcame the odds to graduate and prepare a hopeful future for her family.  We simply had the opportunity to come alongside at critical junctures and provide direction for life.

This Thanksgiving, please know that your giving makes a tremendous difference in the future stories of 14,000 students each year.  You help youth shift from surviving to thriving!

Merrile Stroud has donated both time and resources to On Point by serving on our board of directors, chairing our event committee and supporting our work financially. Merrile is the wife of John and a mom of four amazing girls, two in college and two at home. Merrile teaches yoga, works at the Cosmetic Market, travels frequently (including mission trips to serve in orphanages) and leads Bible studies. I recently sat down with Merrile and asked her to tell me about why she supports On Point:

You have been a faithful and passionate volunteer and financial supporter of On Point for years. How were you first introduced to the work of On Point?

“We were invited to an On Point fundraising dinner several years ago. My husband, John, and my oldest daughter, Anna (14 years old at the time), attended. My husband was impressed with what he heard and my daughter wanted to join On Point’s Teen Board.”

Anna was a leader in our Teen Board for several years. Tell me how that experience was for her and for you as a mom.

“On Point Teen Board was life changing for Anna. That may surprise some people to hear because Anna comes from a stable, two-parent home. Even before On Point, she was making good grades and healthy life choices. At On Point, Anna grew into an amazingly confident, articulate young lady. On Point offered her a place to learn about herself and others, share her voice and grow in leadership. At On Point, she found a group of people who came alongside her family and loved her for who she was.”

What made you decide to serve on the board of directors at On Point?

“When I saw the impact On Point was having on Anna and other teens from all walks of life, I wanted to be a part of spreading the word about the work they were doing. I was impressed by the practical, positive way they approach youth. They are not just telling kids ‘Don’t do this and don’t do that.’ They are empowering teens with the information they need to make a healthy choices and giving them the confidence to make those choices. On Point is truly making a difference.”

Is there a particular story or moment that stands out to your in your time as an On Point supporter?

“Beyond what On Point did in my daughter’s life, I would have to say it was hearing from the students at the annual fundraising dinner. I remember one year in particular when a young man stood up and talked about growing up without a father and starting to head down the wrong path. He went on to share about an On Point employee who tracked him down in the hall at school and encouraged him to join a Life On Point group. Through this man investing in his life and acting as a father figure to him, he learned that he could turn his life around and make better decisions. He was empowered to learn that he was not a victim of his environment, but a strong young man with the power to change the course of his life.

You and John have been generously supporting On Point financially for several years. How do you decide what organizations you want to give to and why did you choose On Point?

John and I want to give to organizations with proven results. We want to see that an organization is living out its values. On Point is in the trenches walking out their mission every day. We were impressed by their results on paper, but even more so by the stories of committed volunteers and students whose lives have been changed. We want to invest in something with lasting impact and for us, that is On Point.

In a recent middle school Life On Point group, questions were posed, by the facilitators, in an effort to identify group members’ individual preferences.  If in agreement, members were to walk to the opposite side of the room.    Not surprising, the group members hesitated, watched to see the direction of their peers, and then, all moved to the same side of the room, despite being asked their personal preferences.

Given that this was an activity occurring in the beginning weeks of our Life On Point groups, I am less concerned for the participants. I know the group leaders will both address and give opportunity to practice resistance skills and self discovery.  In fact, Life On Point has proven success with strong outcomes addressing peer pressure and making healthy choices.  However, I am concerned for the myriad of youth floundering in a sea of choices, watching their peers’ actions, and following the status quo.  Even more disturbing are the number of adults who make choices based on what social psychologists call “group think.”  The Holocaust is just one revolting example of adults acting upon “group think” with horrific violence.  There are many modern day examples to include our city’s own gang leaders (at one end of the spectrum) to the numerous television episodes with adults compromising their stated values when pressure is exerted.

Adults, youth need you.  Parents, youth are crying out for direction.  Our actions will always speak louder to them than our words.  If they see and hear us break commitments, use language with friends we wouldn’t normally use, post surprising comments, or ask them to lie for us to the telemarketer, how can we then lecture them on dependability, respectfulness, or honesty?  While these may seem like subtle compromises, young people are watching to see if our actions match what we teach them.  The pressure they face daily is unimaginable to the average adult.  They need us to lead them by example.  Doing so is a critical ingredient to producing resilient, tenacious young people who forsake following the status quo to live out their values and lead our culture.

The following was written by a student attending one of our Life On Point groups.

Low self-esteem, the shy timid girl who didn’t really care about life, because she was invisible or so she thought. Yeah, that was me. For most of my life, I’ve felt alone, even when I was with my family. I come from a big family and am the eldest of five children.

I haven’t had a dad for 18 years; my mom had to work to provide for all five of us so she barely had time for us. She put my oldest sister in charge of us when she went to work. My older sister paid more attention to the little ones; therefore, I never listened. I would do things my way and ignore everyone. I always thought that no one would care what I did.

I used to be the girl that hated everyone. I didn’t talk to them; I just ignored them. I was the girl who used to make bad grades because my classmates would always make fun of me. My freshman year of high school was especially challenging, as I felt confused and lost most of the time. I would join a lot of clubs at school just because I would want to get out of class and get the free things that they were handing out. Later, I would end up quitting because I would feel out of place.

One club I didn’t quit proved to make such a difference in my life. I am not invisible anymore. The adult leaders in my Life On Point group believe in me. I feel like my Life On Point group is like a second family to me where I can be anything I want to be and accomplish my dreams and goals.  I now feel empowered to reach my full potential as a responsible, caring person. Being in On Point has helped changed my life in ways that will not only impact me today but in my future where I one day hope to become a Military Officer.

Life On Point, a program developed by On Point, which is designed to help youth avoid risk behaviors while equipping them with positive assets, has proven successful outcomes.  During the 2011/2012 school year, On Point accelerated its evaluation rigor of Life On Point by completing an experimental design in an urban middle school.

In the study, conducted by an independent evaluator, 65 students were randomly assigned to participate in a semester-long Life On Point group or to a control group, which did not participate in Life On Point until after the evaluation. Students completed questionnaires before and after the program, which were designed to measure each of the following five Life On Point outcomes:

1. Healthy choices—positive attitudes and intentions about abstaining from sex, alcohol and drug use, and violence

2. Academic attachment—commitment to working hard and staying in school

3. Self-efficacy in resisting negative peer pressure—confidence in being about to say “no” if friends exert pressure to participate in sexual activity, alcohol and drug use, and violence

4. Positive social support—perception of positive support from peers and adults for working towards positive life goals

5. Positive life vision—having a positive attitude about one’s future and making decisions that will have a positive effect on one’s future

The summary of the evaluation design is below and further confirms that the Life On Point program helps middle school students develop the skills and competencies targeted by the program.  Amy Pearson, On Point’s Executive Director and author of Life On Point, reiterated the importance of replicating the study to ensure that youth are best served.   “After fifteen years of program development and ten years of program evaluation, I am ecstatic to see the program outcomes we’ve witnessed confirmed in this study.  Completing a randomized control trial in a school setting requires great cooperation from school administration and staff, parents and youth, the evaluation team, funders, and the Life On Point Facilitators.  We are grateful to all who assisted in this effort!  Most importantly, this study will be replicated as we seek to give youth the best possible programming and opportunities.  Our evaluations further inform our program development,” said Mrs. Pearson.

In summary, students who did not receive the program until after the evaluation (control group) declined in all but one area, in contrast to students who received the program. Students receiving the program were found significantly more likely than the control group to make healthy choices, commit to work hard and stay in school, resist negative peer pressure, possess positive support from peers and adults, and have a positive life vision.  Kimothy Warren, Program Director for the Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Program for the State of Tennessee, commented on the Life On Point Program saying, “The TN Department of Health has worked closely with On Point on several risk avoidance education projects. We were pleased to review the program evaluation, which suggests that the Life On Point program is indeed providing students with the life skills and essential assets to successfully achieve their future life goals.”

(click to enlarge)

• The “Healthy Choices” scale includes subscales measuring healthy attitudes toward alcohol and drug use, violence, and sexual activity.  The percentage of Life On Point participants with positive scores on the subscales each increased from before to after the program:  Alcohol and drug use, 67% to 84%; violence, 42% to 65%; sexual activity, 48% to 90%.

At the end of last school year, I was with a friend at a local fast food drive through. We saw a group of teens in an adjacent parking lot in incredible distress. We drove over to ask if they needed help at the same time, a fire truck drove up and assisted them. We drove away not realizing the events that had just unfolded. Later that night I saw on the news that a 17 year old student was car surfing and one wrong move cost him his life. I don’t know that I will ever shake seeing those kids in that parking lot pacing in such a panic or seeing that young man with such a bright future, lying on the ground. But that’s really only the beginning.

We live in a media saturated world. Media in and of itself is not always bad, however, so many teens are finding deadly trends with one touch on a screen or one click of a mouse. There was recently an episode of “The Doctors” that reported a new teen trend: eating hand sanitizer. Teens are doing this because of the high alcohol content. “Hand sanitizer can contain 62 to 65 percent ethyl alcohol or ethanol, which is the main ingredient in beer, wine and spirits, and a pocket-sized bottle of hand sanitizer, can contain the equivalent of two to three shots of hard liquor.” (http://www.thedoctorstv.com/main/show_synopsis/1136?section=synopsis, October 18, 2012)

It does not stop there. I have to admit I was shocked when I began reading about risky teen trends of today. All I had to do was Google “deadly teen fads” and a sea of links popped up. Some were trends when I was in high school such as drinking cough syrup, but now they are making it into a mixed drink.  Risky “games” are being taken to a whole new level.  Teens are taking shots of vodka in their eyeballs for a quick buzz. As a parent, you wouldn’t be able to smell it on their breath. They are also ingesting alcohol through the anus. Recently, The Huffington Post did a story on a University of Tennessee student who was hospitalized and nearly died from an alcohol enema.  Teens are also “Trunking.” When a state prohibits teens who just received their license to have anyone other than an adult in the car with them, they are loading their friends into the trunks of their cars. This is really only scratching the surface. PLEASE do a Google search and see for yourself how many deadly trends are out there.

As a parent, guardian or friend, it is our responsibility to be honest with teens of the very real dangers of these “games.” Teens all over our country are being laid to rest because of their careless actions.  I know there is a fine line between talking and educating versus giving them very dangerous ideas. Remember that telling a teen YOUR expectations will protect them more than not talking at all. Because they have trouble envisioning their future, it may be a good idea to simply talk to them about what they want to be when they grow up. What are their aspirations? What are they hoping to contribute to the world? To others?  Write it out. Post their dreams and ideas on the fridge or in other common places as a reminder that they DO have a future! Every single human being has a purpose. Help them to see and know theirs. Help them to “own” it. When a person knows they have a purpose, even our teens, our lives have more meaning and our choices will reflect that! Above all, never stop talking to your kids. If you have stopped talking, start today by asking how their day was. It’s that simple. Make it a daily practice to get to know them. They’re counting on YOU!!

I became a first time mom in May and it has been a whirlwind of information since then. Before I had our son, so many people were giving me the ends and outs of having a little one to call my own. I receive emails almost daily on how my tot should be developing, how his brain is growing and how I should show him love. One thing I have noticed over the years working with teens is that there seems to be fewer emails about teens and their developing brains and how they need to be shown love. At On Point, we want to change that! Your teen’s brain is developing quickly and brain experts tell us that the pre-frontal cortex is still in development until the mid to late twenties. It’s so easy to forget that the part of their brain (the pre-frontal cortex) that controls decision making skills, logic and reasoning still has some growing to do! Like your teen, the brain is very active and developing! As someone who works with teens, I have to remind myself that they need just as much attention, guidance and love as my four month old. It can be easy to forget that, like my infant, teens can’t make the best choices on their own and I have to help point them in the right direction. The best place I can point a teen is to you! As their parent or guardian, you are the one they look to the most. It is vital that the adults around your teen are safe people who love them and want the best for their lives.

When it comes to loving a teenager, often times we don’t know how to SHOW them our love. The best, cheapest, but not always easiest way is to TALK, TALK, TALK to them. You are their guiding point, their direction and support. Grab one of our Let’s Talk Boxes to get the conversation started. Interview your teen and let them do the same to you. This is a great way of getting to know them and for them to get to know you. It’s funny how much we talk and ask those “get to know you questions” to the person we want to marry or date, so show your teen how to do that by talking to you! It can also show them how to have strong communication skills in a dating relationship one day.

The biggest, most important thing I am learning that my role as a parent is to lead by example. When I make mistakes, I have to own up to them, ask for forgiveness and move on. I have to make the best choices I can and, in turn, will expect that from my son as well. But until then, I have to guide and teach my son the best I can to help him soar when he is pushed from our safe nest. I know he will make mistakes, but my love should outweigh any poor choice he makes. Feel encouraged and please know that we are here as a resource for you and your teen! Now, get out there and TALK!!

Driving into work this morning, I heard a fascinating interview on National Public Radio where the latest research on the teenage brain gave great insight into how we should reach and guide teenagers.  As parents and educators, I think it is so important to learn about the unique ways teens develop and build on their strengths and the amazing growth taking place.  The following highlights key pieces of the interview:

“The teenage brain always gets a bad rap. It's often described in terms of its weaknesses, especially a tendency to engage in impulsive. But new research shows that teenage brains have considerable strength as well."

About a decade ago, scientists began publishing studies of the adolescent brain that led to a pretty negative stereotype.  BJ Casey, a brain scientist at Weill Cornell Medical College in New York says “The adolescent is described as someone who's impulsive, and who makes poor choices and is a risk taker.” Some studies suggest that the teenage brain is like a speeding car with no steering wheel and no brake. But recently, Casey is working to help set the record straight.

Casey noted that “Teenagers are quite capable of waiting, as opposed to reacting impulsively, and this really flies in the face of some of my previous research”  The study involved the brain's reward system, which produces pleasurable feelings in response to things including alcohol, sex, and thrill-seeking activities like skydiving. Casey says previous research has shown that, compared with adult brains, adolescent brains have a much greater sensitivity to rewards.

What Casey et al. found was that this reward sensitivity can also encourage good decisions!

They studied the brains of teenagers and adults playing a video game. Participants earned points for correctly deciding which way clouds of dots were moving on a screen.

Casey says when a lot of points were at stake, the reward system in adolescents, but not adults, became much more active. But she says, despite all the activity in the reward system, adolescents actually waited longer than adults before making a decision.

Casey noted, “So what the adolescents appear to be doing in this case, as opposed to acting impulsively and being pulled by that reward, they're making sure and letting enough evidence accumulate, so that they get it right.”  She says this suggests parents might want to consider rewarding good decisions by teens rather than punishing bad ones.

Another study presented at the neuroscience meeting also found that teenage brains can make good decisions, though teens arrive at them in a different way.

A UCLA team reported that teens use more areas of the brain than adults do when assessing the same risk.  Jay Giedd of the National Institute of Mental Health says this sort of research is leading brain scientists to a more nuanced view of adolescence.  He notes, “It is a time of vulnerability. But it's also a time of enormous opportunity.”   The scientists note it is clear just how quickly the brain is changing during the teen years, and how flexible it is.

“The teen brain isn't broken and it's not a defective adult brain.”  How encouraging as we collectively guide our youth towards avoiding risks and build on the inherent strengths they possess!

As I stepped into Sequoyah on September 28th, many memories flooded my mind.  Fourteen years previous, the same dedicated teacher who greeted me that day, Mrs. Kristi Morgan, had pleaded with On Point to begin groups for her students.  Her heart was to have on-going support for students, thus enabling them to further apply the principles they learned through our Think On Point Program.  With her invitation, the journey of creating Life On Point ensued.  This adventure enabled me to journey beside Sequoyah students weekly as I charted our group topics, activities, and discussions.  Foundational to each group was following the needs of the members while carefully choosing topics, activities, and discussions which addressed those needs.

Three short years later, Life On Point was further developed as we expanded to six local schools and again, to 16 schools.

Today, Life On Point is being utilized by schools, community centers, and houses of worship, nationally and internationally.  It has been rigorously evaluated and is an evidence-based program with strong outcomes.  The heart for the program has never waivered:  the curriculum is simply a vehicle for building healthy relationships with youth as they build Self-Discovery, Vision for the Future, Making Healthy Choices, Positive Support, and Leadership for Service.  Excitedly, in a 2011-2012 RCT study, Life On Point participants had a 35% increase in their positive attitudes and intentions about abstaining from sex, substance use, and violence.  During the same period of time, non-participants in the study declined by six percentile points in their reported attitudes and intentions about the same behaviors.

While the numbers reveal strong program success, the TRUE success of Life On Point is evident in the eyes and words of group members across our city, as well as in my group members at Sequoyah, as they say, “We’ve been waiting for group to start this year.  So glad you’re back!”  These young people are my heroes….truly.  They dare to dream and overcome unimaginable odds while still expressing gratitude.  I am thankful that the youth we have the privilege of journeying beside in Life On Point will be leaders of our community, state, and nation in years to come!   As I greet Mrs. Morgan and the students, I say, “I’m so glad to be back this year!  Thank you!”

I was on this coast just 10 days ago. The beautiful Adriatic in front and the mountains of Brela, Croatia in the background. I’m excited to say that Life On Point traveled to this part of the world!

The Brela Women’s Conference was held on this lovely coast over the first weekend of October. Missionaries from all over the Balkan region came together to be rejuvenated and encouraged. During my time here I was able to share some of the key components of the Curriculum with the women.

What an exciting thing! Life On Point, 5,000 miles from Chattanooga!

Sayings, sayings, and more sayings.  As an educator, it is hard to keep up with our youth’s terminology.  Some call it Ebonics and others, our youth’s culture.  “What it do,” “she bopped out,” “that’s stupid good,” “your hair is wicked,” “what you said” and now, “Yolo."  The typical teenage conversation consists of these phrases.  As parents, educators, and mentors do not become discouraged if you’re having difficulties keeping up.  I encourage you to ask questions and remain connected to our youth through open communication.

Many of our youth have adopted the terminology “Y.O.L.O.” which means, you only live once.  While the statement is true, many in society and not just our youth, use it as an excuse to engage in risky behaviors.  As leaders, let’s stress to our youth that, yes, they only live once, and since they only live once they should try their best to make wise choices so that they can enjoy their life!

Laura Gilbert donates both time and resources to On Point in Cleveland, TN. Laura is the wife of Jason and a mom of two and co-owns Gilbert Collision, an auto body shop in Cleveland, TN. I recently sat down with Laura and asked her to tell me about why she gives to On Point:

You have been a faithful and passionate volunteer and financial supporter of On Point for years. What drives your passion for the work On Point does?

“I got into a lot of trouble as a teenager. I made some pretty poor choices and there were no adults in my life that stepped in and questioned what I was doing. My parents gave me “the talk” by handing me a book and never bringing up the subject of sex and relationships again. They would occasionally use guilt when they suspected that I was up to something, but most of the time, they buried their heads in the sand and pretended everything was ok. My teachers observed my negative behavior, but they never reported it to my parents or took the time to talk to me about the consequences of my choices. My negative choices resulted in an unplanned pregnancy and my decision to obtain an abortion.”

“I have since healed from that painful choice but I wish just one person, one adult, had tried to rationalize with me. Kids are hurting and they need adults to come along side them and speak the truth. As long as I have the privilege to serve teens in the schools, I will be there.”

How did you first get involved with On Point?

“I started volunteering at New Hope Pregnancy Care Center eleven years ago. I wanted to give young girls someone to talk to and encourage them not to make the same mistakes I did.  When they started teaching the On Point program in the schools, I signed on to lead a Life On Point group. I count it as an honor to have the opportunity to impact a young life.”

What are the moments that stand out to you as a volunteer that make want to keep coming back year after year?

“I like the light bulb moments when a student ‘gets it’ for the first time. I remember covering ‘life vision’ with a group of sophomores at a local high school. One young man was a star football player and had big dreams to play professional ball. We helped him set some short term and long term goals. One of his short term goals was to stop dipping. I committed to bring him a dip substitute (sunflower seeds) each week and check on his progress. His long term goals, like many boys’, centered on the fame and wealth that surrounds professional sports players. When he brought his low grades to the Life On Point meeting, I was able to talk with him about the importance of grades and how they affect future goals. We talked about how a D in math would affect his chance of going to college and playing football. He finally understood that the choices he makes now will affect his future.”

“I had a seventh grade girl approach me after a lesson on healthy choices and tell me she was already sexually active with multiple partners and what did that mean for her? We were able to talk through her choices and the potential she had to reach her goals in life by changing that behavior. The whole time I was thinking, I wish someone had done this for me.”

You have been instrumental in recruiting others to volunteer with On Point. What made you want to get others involved?

“To quote the Bible, ‘The harvest is many but the workers are few.’ As a matter of fact, the harvest is bursting in Cleveland. Last year, we served 70 students at Lake Forrest Middle School. This year, we had almost 400 sign up for Life On Point groups! We put out the call and let kids know that we were going to be talking about healthy choices (the opposite of what they see on TV) and that was the response. Teens are hungry for the truth and they need caring adults in their lives. In Cleveland, there is a church on every corner yet; our county has the third largest reported meth use. We need more people to go into these schools and invest in the lives of our youth. On Point gives us the opportunity to do that.”

You and your husband give generously to On Point. What drives your decision to give of your financial resources and how do you chose what you give to?

“My faith plays a large role in why we give. We feel that God has blessed our business and we are responsible to share our resources-time, energy and finances. As for what we choose to give to, we like to give to charities that provide needed services but are often overlooked. I give to New Hope Pregnancy Care Center because they offer hope and healing for girls dealing with unplanned pregnancy. On Point stands out to me because they provide something I needed as a teenager. I wonder how my life would have been different if I had caring adults guiding me in my choices.”

I want to thank Laura for her willingness to share her story and for her generous contributions of time and resources to the youth of Cleveland. If you are interested in learning more about volunteering and/or giving to On Point, please contact Shannon Mathews at 899-9811 x 108 or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Earlier this week, Jennifer Livingston, a CBS news anchor out of La Crosse, Wisconsin received an email which addressed her weight in an extremely critical manner.  Much to the surprise of her viewers, on Tuesday morning, Ms. Livingston addressed the email she received on live TV.  She didn’t bring up the email she received to retaliate; instead, she felt something much bigger needed to be addressed. Jennifer felt the email she received was a form of bullying, and in light of October being national bullying prevention month, her experience serves as an unfortunate, yet important reminder about the damaging effects of bullying. To watch Jennifer’s on air comments, click here.

According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, more than 1 in 10 students are bullied on regular basis. Even more startling, before the rise of social media, kids used to just get bullied on the play ground; now, as a result of advances in technology, bullying can essentially go on 24 hours a day. As a parent, one of the most important things you can do is start talking to your child about the harmful effects of bullying at an early age. Research indicates bullying starts during late elementary school years, peaks during middle school and tapers off during high school. Familiarize yourself with the following, and if necessary, hold a family meeting to introduce some of these concepts.

What can I do to prevent my child from bullying someone?

• Start early by introducing a zero-tolerance policy for the mistreatment of others

• Use examples like the story above to talk to your child about the effects of bullying

• Discuss bullying scenes that appear in movies or TV shows

• Teach your child the importance of saying “I’m sorry” and being kind to his or her peers

What are the warning signs that a child is being bullied?

• Sudden decrease in school attendance

• Angry, irritable, disruptive or aggressive  behavior

• Nightmares or insomnia

• Expresses lack of self confidence

What can I do if my child is the victim of bullying?

• Talk to your child to discuss the incidents—be sure to get the specifics (who, what, when, where, etc.)

• Emphasize with your child the importance of not retaliating

• Monitor your child’s computer and phone time, as cyber bullying can be happening online or through text messages

• Let the school know and keep lines of communication open with your child’s teacher

• If necessary, seek professional counseling for your child

The youth of Chattanooga are being challenged to believe that the future is really theirs!  A community-wide collaborative effort to engage youth as part of the solution to the city’s gang issue is underway. The initiative has been designated as “The Future is Ours” and is being led by Fred Houser and Boyd Patterson on staff with the city.  On Point is excited to be a partner in that effort!

Last spring, both Mr. Houser and Mr. Patterson met with On Point’s Teen Board to gain a youth perspective regarding what Chattanooga teens think and need to stay “on point”.   The Teen Board is comprised of high school students from throughout Hamilton County who work together to listen to and represent area teens. They also participate in leadership development and service-learning opportunities, including hosting a city-wide Graduation Summit.

Throughout the summer, Teen Board members participated in “The Future Is Ours” conversations with other teens representing a number of youth organizations around the city. The teens enjoyed hearing from one another and learning the common concerns they shared, despite being from different schools and interests. They were able to come to a consensus about what they needed to avoid gang involvement and participation in other associated risk behaviors. Over and over, the teens spoke about the importance of meaningful relationships with adults, those who listen to their concerns and then help them find ways to be engaged in positive activities that make a difference, not only in their own lives, but also in their communities and ultimately, their city. They believed there are many teens, like themselves, who want to make a difference through volunteering, serving, learning, working, and making meaningful contributions - if they just knew who could help them and how to get started.

Not surprisingly, the feedback from Chattanooga youth aligns with what the national research demonstrates. The Search Institute is an organization that has been investigating the components of healthy youth development for over 75 years. Their recent research has  identified indicated three factors that youth themselves say are critical to their success: “spark, voice, and relationship”. (Search Institute, 2010). These three factors are:

• Helping youth find what sparks their interests, passions and future dreams.

• Helping them learn to effective exercise their voice regarding what matters to them.

• Building relationships with adults that provide meaningful support and connection to resources.

Our Chattanooga youth do really get it – and they are on the move to make the future theirs. As a first plan of action, “The Future Is Ours” teens planned a “Be The Change” event for Saturday, September 15th at Miller Plaza.  Local youth talent was spotlighted and several teens spoke about their desire to “be the change” in Chattanooga. Because the teens were hoping for effects that would carry on after a one-time event, they asked youth organizations to be present to show them how to become more connected to adults and their community. Hoping to help more of their peers find their “spark” and “voice”, the teens asked organizations to consider hosting youth service opportunities, particularly  over Fall Break, to provide positive and meaningful activities for students while out of school.  At On Point, teens have been invited to come visit our office on October 9th, to learn more about On Point, interact with staff members, and paint over graffiti.

Watch for more collaborative efforts through “The Future Is Ours” as Chattanooga seeks more ways to engage everyone in helping youth find their “spark” and “voice” through positive relationships!

Our eyes have been more opened recently to bullying in schools, but one thing we may not be too familiar with is “Textual Harassment.”  It is exactly what it sounds like – harassing someone through texting.  It plays a major role in dating violence. The most significant problem to textual harassment is that parents may not even know that their child is a victim because text messages are silent.  Text messages come in at all hours of the day and night. They will be sent while your child is hanging out with friends, during dinner with family and during school. The texter has no regard for what the victim is doing because like any abusive relationship, it is all about control.

Signs of Abuse in a Dating Relationship:

• Jealousy and Fear – May become mistrusting and suspicious.

• Possessive and Controlling Behavior – Find your child keeping secrets and hiding actions

• Verbal Criticisms – Feels toxic shame, guilt, and a loss of esteem and competence

• Social Isolation – May have fewer friends and spend all of their time with their partner

• Violent Behavior – Becomes depressed and hopeless. May have bruises or injuries. May have thoughts of suicide or fear their life.

• Drugs and Alcohol – May begin using drugs and/or alcohol as coping skills breakdown

• Broken Promises – Begins to apologize or hear “It won’t happen again” from abuser or defends abuser saying they’ve changed or “it won’t happen again.”

• Sexual Abuse – unwanted touching and/or kissing, may be forced into sex with threats or accusations

What Can I Do as a Parent:

TALK! TALK! TALK! Parents sometimes forget that they are their teen’s main source for information. Educate yourself on “red flags” that signal abuse. Talk to their friends and teachers too. Are they withdrawing from their friends? Do their friends like the person they’re dating? How are your teen’s grades? School performance drops when teens begin to be involved in drugs, alcohol, and/or sex. Become familiar with local and online resources. At On Point, we have brochures that show the cycle of abuse, as well as, a checklist for students to make sure they’re in a healthy relationship. Let your teen know that you support them. No parent wants their child to date an abuser. Sadly,

• Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year.

• One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.

• One in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend.

• One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse.

Set boundaries with your teen. Have a cell phone curfew. A lot of students stay up late at night texting their friends while their parents think they’re sleeping. Let them know your expectations. Above all, let them know you are there to help them get out of an abusive situation, that you love them, and you have their back.

Resources:

www.liveonpoint.org

www.loveisrespect.org

http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teen_dating_violence.html

http://www.breakthecycle.org/community-tools-training

This summer many teens will find a summer job to earn extra income.  Whether they choose to spend their earnings on gas or going to the movies, the first paycheck gives most teens a taste of independence.This new found independence can sometimes give parents a few gray hairs.

As teens grow into young adults, it’s important that they gradually take on independence.  Learning to cope with such freedom teaches responsibility and critical thinking.  But despite their growing need for independence, teens want adults to be a committed, consistent support.  Instead of being told what NOT to do, teens want to understand the benefits of making wise choices.

Here are a few things parents can do this summer to encourage independence within boundaries:

1. Talk to your teen about consequences.  This will help teens visualize the repercussions of their actions and reinforce their decision to make healthy choices.

2. Get informed.  Know where your teen is going, who they will be with, what they will be doing and when they will be home.

3. Set up a checking account.  Help your teen manage his or her money, learn to balance a check book and begin saving for a future investment.

4. Create an emergency plan.  Make sure your teen knows what to do in case of a flat tire, running out of gas, or getting in an accident.

5. Help teens productively fill their "free time."  Help your teen find a job, taking them to summer camp or simply take a bike ride together.

6. Communicate!  The most important thing a parent can do is talk to their teen.  Ask questions, listen and give feedback.

On Point is committed to helping teens and parents grow together in healthy relationship!  Check out our For Parents section for more tips, and sign up for our newsletter!

I have recently begun to really enjoy reading blogs. I like getting to momentarily peek into other people’s lives. Some of the more recent blogs I have stumbled upon have pretty much all had the same theme: struggle to HOPE. As I sat here tonight on my couch reading, I realized something major. I mean MAJOR. Before I let you in on that secret, let me give you a quick summary of the things I have read and how this beautiful puzzle is fitting together.

I have a friend who is on a journey with her husband and three children to adopt twins in Congo. It has been amazing to see the community pour into this family as they prepare to receive these loving, little children. Shortly after that, I stumbled upon a video of a couple who love each other beyond words. Literally. This couple dated for ten months before the gentleman got into an accident that affected his brain. He can no longer talk clearly and needs help eating. His girlfriend stood by his side and knew one day they would be married. The beginning of the video is of their wedding day! As if that wasn’t enough, I hopped over to a blog about a medical team in Uganda. The story I read was of a tragedy. A tiny baby girl, so malnourished she passed away in the middle of the night. There was no doctor to help her. The nurses did all they could do, but they needed a doctor. This team is currently raising funds to do just that so they can continue to heal these children. To watch them thrive.

What do all of these stories have in common? HOPE. I sat here wondering “what can I do to help? How can I make a difference?” Then it dawned on me. I can love the teenagers around me, here and now. I don’t have to travel very far to make an impact. Our teens may not live in a third world country, but I assure you they still need the same love, medicine and care that all of these stories spoke about. Regardless of where we live, we are surrounded by hurting people. We do not have to go outside of our own city to give hope to people who are broken. If we’re being honest, at some point we have all been there. I often have to remind myself that teens need hope, to feel loved and encouraged. I am honored and feel so privileged to get to pour into students.  Though serving in another country is good, I have to remind myself that I don’t have to leave this area in order to do that. I saw a quote on Pinterest:  “It is easier to build up a child than to repair an adult.”  I want more than anything, to see THIS generation growing, thriving and living out their hope. If we fail to raise them up strong, we will spend the rest of our lives trying to repair. Let’s come together as a community and continue to strengthen and empower our youth. If they don’t have us, who do they have? Let’s work diligently together to raise up a generation of strong, hopeful men and women. They need YOU!

As I walk down the halls of many of our high and middle schools I see girls and boys gazing into one another’s eyes, holding hands, hugging endlessly, kissing, and giving a quick smooch.  Many of our youth are courting, hooking-up, dating, going out, “just talking”, chilling, or just hanging out.  Are you clueless as to what I’m writing about?  Don’t worry so am I, and so are our youth.  When discussing the importance of establishing clear boundaries and standards initially in a dating relationship, I begun first asking the students what’s the purpose of dating.  Listed below are their responses:

To get to know someone

To avoid being lonely

To have someone by your side and to “have your back”

Just because……

To get experience

Hmmmm….. I DON’T KNOW

They all agreed that these are not sufficient reasons to date. When the students actually thought it through most of them agreed that they really didn’t know its purpose.  When we don’t know the purpose of something chances are we will tend to abuse it.  Whenever we use something abnormally, that’s considered abuse.  I stated that the initial purpose for dating and/or courting was to find your potential husband or wife and to determine if you all are compatible for marriage.  During the dating/courting scene you spend time meeting parents, taking part in one another’s hobbies and interests, communicate honestly, are a little more exclusive and everyone now know that you’ve taken it a step further than just friends, and continue to allow one another space to develop in other areas of your life.  This exemplifies a healthy dating or courting relationship.  I continue to stress in the classroom that in every relationship we get into we give of ourselves and we receive of others.   The previous is okay if both are uplifting and bettering one another.   If we keep in mind the purpose of dating, we can avoid abusing one another mentally, verbally, socially, physically, and spiritually.

Do you need help explaining to your youth the importance of a healthy dating relationship?  Perhaps you need help determining what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like.  For more info about healthy vs. unhealthy relationships, visit this article. You can also refer to some of On Point’s brochures, Is it Love and Safe or Sorry. Quite naturally our youth are going to be attracted to the opposite sex and desire companionship with one another.  Let’s help them do this in a healthy and productive way by communicating the do’s and don’ts in relationships.

I arrived at my first day of high school feeling confident; I had carefully selected the perfect outfit, my hair was finally cooperating, and I’d even picked out a trendy backpack. I had been thinking about this day for a while and was overwhelmed with excitement—new friends, new teachers, new classes, all of it seemed exciting. Much to my dismay, all of this excitement came to a screeching halt as soon as I entered the girls’ bathroom. As I looked around, every square inch of mirror space was being occupied by what seemed like the entire female population attending my new school. Within a matter of minutes, my opinion of what I thought high school might be like and all of the possibilities that surrounded it had shifted. Suddenly, I hated high school.

I watched girls put on makeup, fix their hair and stress over whether or not their outfit was cute enough for the boy they wanted to impress. As I inched my way toward an open spot in front of the mirror, the confidence I had going into school that morning had vanished. I suddenly felt an enormous amount of pressure to be perfect and stress out about my appearance, just like my fellow classmates glued to the mirrors next to me.

While this experience was quite some time ago, I would be amazed if this same scene isn’t happening in the girls’ bathrooms in our high schools today. Why is this the case, you might ask yourself? Why are girls at such a young age feeling an enormous amount of pressure to be perfect? According to a study, conducted by the American Academy of Pediatrics, today’s youth are spending an average of seven hours a day on entertainment media. Given the fact that females are overwhelmingly portrayed unrealistically in Hollywood, coupled with the amount of time teenagers devote to media, it’s no wonder teenage girls experience so much pressure to be perfect.

As a parent struggling to work around the powerful influences of media on your teenage daughter, you may be wondering how you can attempt to teach your teen about healthy body image.  One way to combat the pressure to be perfect in young girls is to ensure they are surrounded by adult females who have a healthy body image. Exposing teenage girls to positive female influences who are strong, confident and possess inward beauty is very beneficial for them in developing a well-balanced body image. In addition, don’t shy away from crucial conversations with your teen. For example, if your teenage daughter asks you if she can buy the latest issue of Seventeen Magazine at the grocery store, use this as an opportunity to talk to her about finding a magazine that doesn’t focus so heavily on outward appearance and beauty and instead, search for a magazine that allows your daughter to learn more about positive body image. For more information about media influence on adolescent health and well-being, visit the Media Awareness Network.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” This is a question teenagers get asked constantly as they move through high school. Many students will answer this question almost immediately, but have they really thought about all of the steps necessary to achieve their vision? Usually, when teenagers think about their vision, the end result is the only thing they can see—they haven’t thought about the planning and steps involved in making their vision a reality. As adults, it is important to encourage teens to plan for their future, as learning how set goals and plan for the future is a crucial step in healthy teenage development.

As a parent, one of the best things you can do for your teen is to work with them to set goals and then hold them accountable for the goals they have chosen for themselves. Before you attempt to tackle big dreams with your teen, start with smaller goals first. For example, your high schooler may want to try out for the cross country team this fall. A good starting point would be to sit down with your teen and create an exercise plan that slowly builds on itself so that your teen is appropriately conditioned by the time fall rolls around. Each week you can check in with your son or daughter and ask them how closely they are following their plan. Use this time to encourage and praise your teen for making a plan and sticking with it—this will motivate them to continue with their positive behavior.

For larger dreams, such as your teen wanting to be a dentist when they grow up, setting weekly goals may not be the best way to successfully address that particular dream. A better idea might be to sit down with your teen and talk to them about the steps they can begin taking six months from now, a year from now, three years from now and so on. This is also an excellent opportunity to take some time to conduct research with your teen about the process of becoming a dentist. Often times, when teens decide what they want to be when they grow up, many of them haven’t taken the time to research and think about all of the steps necessary to achieve their dream.

Remember, as a parent, one of the best things you can do is to encourage teenagers to have a vision for their lives. But don’t forget that vision is a two part definition, as vision includes seeing the potential as well as setting goals or plans for how to reach that potential. It is also important to note, that as you teach teens to develop a vision for their lives, feel free to share your own vision for your life, as well as the struggles and successes you have experienced on the road to reach your vision.

Planning for life after graduation is absolutely essential to becoming a successful adult. As a result, a portion of the Life On Point curriculum focuses on talking with students about their future goals and plans after high school. The students at Hixson High School have beautiful ambitions, and Life On Point Facilitators work with the students to help them figure out what education level will be needed to fulfill their goals. In learning how to plan for their future, students work to conceptualize the commitments necessary to carry out their goals by mapping out their future 5, 10, 15 and 20 years from now. Mary Rausch, Life On Point Facilitator at Hixson stated,” This is always a very eye-opening experience for students, and it is at this stage they begin to really piece together every step that must be taken to achieve their desired results.”

In order to have a deep understanding for what life after high school might really look like, students in the Life On Point group at Hixson had the unique opportunity to visit both Chattanooga State and UTC. Students spent all day learning about the admission process at both schools, how to search and apply for financial aid, and even had the privilege of eating lunch at the UTC cafeteria! In addition, students spent ample amount of time learning about student life and the wide variety of majors offered at each college.

Currently, there are 16 schools in our community with a Life On Point program, and at each school where the program is present, On Point works closely with faculty sponsors. Mr. Ron Peck, the faculty sponsor and the Hixson Graduation Coach, worked diligently with On Point to submit a grant to Target, which allowed for the field trip to be possible.

“The original quality in any man of imagination is imagery.” –G. K. Chesterton

“You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” —Mark Twain

Is imagination important to our youth? You can go online and find hundreds of quotes from painters, scientists, moralists, writers, and almost anyone else you can think of who all have high regard for the human imagination. Albert Einstein said, “Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions.”

Yes—imagination is immensely important. Just think of Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell—without their creative imaginations..no lights…no phone. We must encourage the imaginations of our youth! They are the future inventors, artists, politicians, and community advocates.

We have recently engaged the imaginations of our students through Service Learning Projects. Students have come up with creative ways to meet the needs of their community and their world. Projects include Easter Baskets for the Chambliss Children’s Home, a shoe drive for Nigerian children, and even beautification projects like planting flowers at a local school.

What are some ways you have engaged the imaginations and creative strengths of your students?

What does it mean to be a servant leader? In On Point’s Life On Point Curriculum, students learn the importance of serving others at an early age. As part of the middle school curriculum, students are encouraged to choose a service project that has meaning to them and then carry out a plan to complete the project.

After hearing about the harsh realities teens in Nigeria face on a daily basis, the Life On Point students at Lake Forest Middle School decided to help. The students had learned that something as simple as not having shoes to wear was a huge need among teens in Nigeria, and so as a solution to this problem, the students conducted a community-wide shoe drive.

Students at Lake Forest quickly set out to spread the word about the shoe drive in their community. Students distributed flyers throughout their school, and shared the need with friends, family and their church community. In just a matter of a month, the shoe drive had collected over 100 pairs of shoes that would go to help needy teens in Nigeria.

To distribute the shoes, the students partnered with Worldcare Ministries, which will be leading a group of volunteers to the small village of Ututu, Nigeria later this month. When asked why the students chose this particular project, Terry Davis, Program Director and Life On Point Facilitator at On Point stated, “The students were fascinated with the fact that their efforts would go to support students around the world.”

On February 23, 2012, the media was buzzing about a little more than the premier of Dr. Seuss’ “The Lorax.”  Chances are you heard all about a condom falling out of teen heart throb, Zac Efron’s pocket. It caused a media frenzy! As a parent, this is a golden opportunity to talk to your kids about the risks that come with premarital sex and how much our society tells teens to be “safe.”  The problem with the almighty condom is that yes, it may protect physically, but we are more than physical beings. Condoms do not protect anyone emotionally, mentally, socially, or spiritually.  So as a parent, use this time to reinforce your expectations of your teen. Remember, that is what they truly want to hear from you! You can also use this as a jumping off point to talk about the friends they hang out with and the media they listen to. Remind them that you are their best source for learning about sexual health.  If you aren’t having these talks, the rest of the world will tell them that “safe sex” is ok and the norm.  At the closing of one article about Efron, the editor said “At least Efron has the “no glove, no love” concept down” (By Taylor Bigler - The Daily Caller | The Daily Caller – Thu, Feb 23, 2012). This is what our teens are being bombarded with every day. Let’s begin to change this trend!

I know I come to you often with stories from East Lake Academy…but it’s a pretty cool place!

I work with a team of facilitators at East Lake Academy. This team is currently working with about 60 6th, 7th & 8th grade girls twice a week.

When we asked the girls what they would most like to discuss, their top 4 topics were college, career, life skills and goal setting—I was really pleasantly surprised. We have high schoolers who are not as visionary!

We have hosted women from around the city to speak to the girls about their careers. We have had several African American, Latina and Caucasian business women from various professions agree to share! Each lady has shared a bit about her work, as well as,  what steps she had to fulfill in order to achieve her goal. The students have even had the opportunity for Q &A.

Getting your community to surround your students is key! How have you made this work in your community?

In recent news, a Victoria Secret Angel model resigned her position. She told the press that she wants to reserve her body only for her husband. As I read the article, I found it quite intriguing because she was standing up for what she believed in while walking away from something she worked so hard for.

Tucked away in this article was another reason for her leaving that had to do with an encounter with her eight year old cousin:

“I was doing my makeup in the mirror one day and she was watching me,” Bisutti said.  “She looked at me and was like, ‘You know, I think I want to stop eating so I can look like you.’”

“It just broke my heart because she looks up to me and I didn’t want to be that type of person that she thought she had to do that to be beautiful,” she said.  “Thousands of girls that think that being beautiful is an outer issue and really it’s a heart issue.”

As an educator, I see so many girls who are struggling with this idea of thinness making them more attractive. They have their “thinspiration.” I think it is so critical that we teach young women and men that being beautiful is so much more than how we look. We have to understand that no matter who we are, we are influencing the people around us…either positively or negatively. To parents, please understand that YOU are your teens greatest influence. Despite what you may think, you are your child’s biggest influence. A group of high schoolers  just told me so!

As the light streamed into Starbucks, Tyra’s countenance radiated as she shared with me the freedom from addiction she had experienced. Ironically, that same week, I received a call from Michelle who had outwardly overcome great adversity, but was now facing possible incarceration. What happened and how did the trajectory so dramatically change for each? While the answer to these questions is complex, current research is supporting many of our former theories.

In a recent study, Seery and colleagues found that while people who had experienced many traumatic life events were more distressed in general, people who had experienced no negative life events had similar problems as their traumatized counterparts when painful events occurred. The people with the best outcomes were those who had experienced some negative events. Seery writes, “The idea is that negative life experiences can toughen people, making them better able to manage subsequent difficulties….people who get through bad events may have tested out their social network, learning how to get help when they need it” (Seery, M.D., Leo, R.J., Holman, E. A., and Silver, R. C. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 99(6), Dec. 2010, 1025-1041).

The implications of this research are enormous, particularly for us as parents. While we ache when our children ache, it is imperative that our children learn how to handle adversity while they are in the safety of our homes and with our nurturing support. I’ve talked to many parents who are crying out for tangible strategies to ensure their children weather the storms and thrive. Here are some suggestions:

(1)Spend time with your teen in mutually enjoyable activities. One of our favorite activities with teens in our Life groups is to create a Self Portrait Board. On the board, we answer the following questions with words and pictures: (1) Who Am I (2) Where Am I Going (3) What’s my Purpose (4) Why Am I Here? We have found that creating our own self portraits alongside the youth in our group opens up many conversations that would never have occurred without a centering activity.

(2)Serve others and build assets daily! Much research exists which links learning while serving to overall success and improved self-respect. Visit www.search-institute.org to learn more about the power of service learning and the importance of building developmental assets into your child’s life

(3)Model self-care, forgiveness, and boundaries. The most powerful voice in the life of your child is not your words, but your actions. Forgiveness coupled with appropriate boundaries is powerfully linked to overall physical and emotional health. Seek help from a therapist for both yourself and your child as needed.

(4)Teach the 100% rule: “I am 100% responsible for what I think, feel, do, and say.”

(5)Encourage and model any of the following in dealing with pain, anger, or stress: Praying, Crying, Meditating, Journaling, Exercising, and Artistic Expressions.

(6)Allow shared silent times as you talk through pain. As parents, we want to “fix” it, but your child is building his or her emotional muscles as they learn to work through their grief and pain. Never underestimate the power of your silence, touch, and compassion as you show them you believe they have the strength to overcome.

During our last group time with middle school students I asked them to tell me what happened to them over the past week since our last group meeting. The kids really had a hard time naming things. Most of the kids could only recall moments they had spent in front of the TV or playing video games. This made me think about how much life we miss out on throughout the day. We don't seem to notice a lot of the small things in life because our minds are so preoccupied all the time. Even if we think we are resting our minds, they are actually running 90 miles a minute with our ipod games, internet, phones, you name it--we are busy people!

I am reminded of a story I heard at a conference several years ago. The speaker recalled how busy his life was as a youth pastor and how he was always on the go. He was always rushing out of the house every morning to get his kids to school and then rushing to the next meeting, to church, and then finally rushing back home to where he was rushing to get his kids in bed. His youngest child, who was 5, was very slow and would a lot of times get on his nerves because he would not hurry or rush for anything! One day the dad asked his son why he would not hurry up and the young boy replied, " I started a club at school called the "Slow Club" and I am the president.

One morning, the boy took his dad by the hand on their way out the door and asked him to be in the slow club. The Dad agreed, although he later tried to get his son to hurry up so they wouldn't be late for school. The boy, realizing his dad was not participating in the Slow Club, patiently told his dad that today they had to slow down. On their way to the car that morning, hand in hand, they walked, slowly allowing time to tick away. They noticed five rabbits jumping across their driveway, and also had time to spot a bald eagle. The boy also had time to notice how the clouds had formed to look like a smiley face. The boy exclaimed to his father, "Look dad, God is smiling down on us today!" The dad got into the car and was totally blown away by all he noticed that morning from the front door of his house to the car.

Take time this week to be in the slow club. Take time to notice the wonderful people in your life. Take time to notice the life that is going on around you. Slow down, turn off the TV, turn off the music, turn off the computer and take in the preciousness of each day.

Today we live in a fast-paced society. At our fingertips, we can get phone calls, emails, music, internet, and of course, any app that you could possibly imagine! Our kids are no different. A lot of them have almost immediate access to the internet and the world at large. Teens are using Facebook and other social media now more than ever to connect with friends, family and peers. Having these luxuries can be both positive and negative. One growing problem we are seeing in America today is bullying. Kids go to school and are being picked on. They get home, get online and the bullying continues in a place where they should feel safe. I want to encourage you as a parent, family member or friend, to step in. If a teen is in our care, we need to make every effort to keep them safe. This means monitoring their cell phones, iPods, and social media accounts. Since a lot of teens stay up late texting their friends, it might be a good idea to have something in place like a cell phone curfew. For example, when the teen goes to bed, the cell phone goes to the parent or guardian. Another idea to keep an eye on bullying would be to have all computers in a public room in the house. That way you are more aware of the information they have access to.

Of all the ways to help prevent or stop bullying, the parent is still the best source. Keep talking to your teens as they learn to navigate through these often difficult teen years. You are their best resource for love, wisdom, comfort and safety. As always, listen to them and allow them freedom to open up to you. Make your home a safe place for them to talk and get advice. And of course, if principals or teachers need to step in, make them known of the problem, too. Begin building a network of positive support!

A close college friend of mine has been seeking others' opinions on the definition of beauty. And when I stop to think about it, it's pretty loaded. Maybe that's why I've procrastinated thinking about it. Because it requires one to stop and really think.

As a Think On Point educator, I have a responsibility in showing youth a new and healthy way of looking at themselves. To shred their magazines of air-brushed waifs of so-called "perfection," to stop mirroring all the fictional teens seen on television, and to challenge them to cultivate their own definitions of beauty. Some girls, unfortunately, have been so deeply affected by society that their answers are nothing more than fallacies ripped out of a Seventeen magazine. Others, I am thankful to report, know that beauty can consist of more than just an inward/outward look at oneself. One student during class muttered that she couldn't believe how self-centered girls were when being asked for a definition of beauty, and that her answers were found outside of herself. To date, that is still the best answer I could ask for. This is, in part, because she had an authenticity unmatched by an of her classmates.

Here is what I know: If we are to focus on an individual's beauty, I think it all boils down to one word: acceptance. I can't recall ever seeing a discontented or miserable person inspire me to see her as beautiful. Sure, there are certain flaws within ourselves that can nag us, but I believe if we continue with self-discovery and growth, it will sprout new buds of beauty. Sometimes, when faced with the ugliness and untruths that lie within us, there soon follows a brokenness that can create a beauty much deeper than ever expected. My childhood best friend, though she has confided that she has obstacles in self-consciousness, will never be less than beautiful in my eyes. Maybe it is the peace that comes from our God-given, seemingly innate friendship. Maybe it is the understanding and shared experiences. Or it could be the simple acceptance that we are who we are, and from this, springs a natural beauty and joy.

But beauty when focusing outside of one's self? Jack pot.

Beauty is never taken for granted. Even if we never notice it, it still exists. I guess this reflection on beauty is more than just a friendly assignment: it's a wake-up call for me to slow down and quiet myself and take in all the beauty that surrounds me. I need to bask in the glory of God's wondrous creation. Because all beauty in life leads back to our unmatched Creator.

Sexy versus beauty. Hot versus pretty. Girls in today's society are constantly challenged to pick between the two, and more girls than ever prefer to be sexy and hot rather than pretty and beautiful. Being sexy and hot requires extreme efforts to become something you are not. Sex appeal and hotness consequently, is fleeting.

Society prefers sex appeal over character, integrity, innocence and virtue. Being beautiful means you exemplify great character and integrity. What's on the inside beautifies the outside. I am constantly telling young ladies in our middle and high schools, "Button up your shirt, put the mirrors away, put your combs up too, and that's enough eyeliner. You are more than your looks. You are beautiful just the way you are." Instead of focusing in English class and learning subject-verb agreement, prepositional phrases, and how to properly construct a research paper, our young ladies are focused on their appearance. They are way more concerned with getting a male's attention than getting a clear understanding of their GPA. I mean seriously, who can blame them while growing up in a culture where sex appeal for a woman seems to be valued over everything? Girls," Please bring back the pretty," is Pat Archbold's plead. Read The Death of Pretty if you'd like more info on this topic.

Marshmallows are our favorite prop.

These versatile, jet-puffed mounds of sugar can be used for practically anything...and they have been by our team of Life On Point Facilitators!

The book, Great Group Games for Kids, by Susan Ragsdale and Ann Saylor, pairs the 40 Developmental Assets with fun, interactive, and often silly, games. By breaking the 40 Developmental Assets down into the eight broad categories*, students play their way into learning more about values, teamwork, serving others and self-esteem. Ragsdale and Saylor call it "Playing with Purpose."

So, we began "playing with purpose" in our groups. Using almost 30 bags of marshmallows, we have facilitated an indoor "snowball" fight, the Marshmallow Olympics, and even baked s'mores in our Camp-In. All of these games not only helped to build assets, but also assisted us in teaching the core constructs of the Life On Point Curriculum-- Self-Discovery, Life Vision/Skills, Healthy Life Choices, Positive Support and Leadership for Service.

Silliness, you might say. Well, research says, "most of the brain is activated during physical activity--much more so than when doing seatwork." In fact, according to Eric Jensen, author of numerous books on brain-based learning, sitting for more than 10 minutes at a stretch "reduces our awareness of physical and emotional sensations and increases fatigue." Jensen reports that this results in "reduced concentration and, most likely, discipline problems" (Pica, More Movement, Smarter Kids).

We are excited to say that by using these yummy props, we are activating brains and learning the assets at the same time!

"When children are given an opportunity to develop these core values and skills through play, they will be better equipped to succeed in academics, leadership, and communication" (Ragsdale, Saylor, 2010).

And we have seen the results of this! One of our groups this year had a rough start. At the beginning of the year, students in this group had a tendency to resort to fighting and arguing as their primary form of communication with each other. Facilitators in this group used the asset-rich games at every group meeting. At the end of this group session we are happy to report increased verbal communication skills, positive group interaction, better concentration in group discussion and a courtesy toward fellow group members and facilitators.

So, our facilitators say to all of you educators, facilitators and parents out there...Break out the marshmallows! Believe it or not, it is a great learning tool.

*Support, Empowerment, Boundaries & Expectations, Constructive Use of Time, Commitment to Learning, Positive Values, Social Competencies, and Positive Identity

Since graduating from college, I have found myself in multiple positions that have directly dealt with teenagers and children. This, admittedly, was not the population with which I had planned on working with. In college, I had grandiose dreams of changing the world by founding a non-profit of some sort, helping others in some third world country. As life tends to go; however, I have not been able to pursue those dreams...yet.

In the meantime, I have been blessed to be involved in the lives of children and teens in a variety of situations. I work primarily in counseling, but I also work within the juvenile court system, and therefore get to experience the "not so fun" side of things. There is some commonality between all of the families that I work with, and that is, generally speaking, most parents don't have a firm grasp on how to deal with their teenage son or daughter.

At first, this thought perplexed me. After all, we were all teenagers once, this could not possibly be that complicated of a situation. At the risk of sounding like my father, though, one has admit that things simply are not like they were "back in the day." What is interesting is that I am only 27 years old, and "back in the day" for me really isn't that far back at all. Nevertheless, things are drastically different now, even compared to when I was a teenager.

Teenagers today live in a world dominated by social media, peer pressure unlike anything I could have ever imagined, and the entire world literally at their fingertips via their smart phone, internet, or countless other resources. Life is different for the average teenager these days, and only continues to become more complex with the technological development of our society.

Now, dont get me wrong, I am not, in any way, attempting to say that we should all denounce technology and regress back into some sort of middle ages lifestyle. I am addicted to my iPhone just like many others, and am in no place to judge. After all, what would life be like without Angry Birds to occupy my time?

Our children are now being raised in a fashion which instantly gratifies their need for visual and intellectual stimulation. Information that I, as a child, had to obtain through a book is now readily accessible at any given moment with simply a few keystrokes. This, in turn, has led to a generation with a lack of patience, and a lack of appreciation for the process of learning, the dedication of time and snail mail. The thing that we must figure out is exactly what this means for those of us who are parents.

The key to a majority of these problems, in my opinion, is for parents to become educated and knowledgeble regarding social media and technology. My parents are incredible people, but they don't know the first thing about social media, and therefore, have no idea what I am posting to Facebook or Twitter on a daily basis. I am not doing anything questionable that would need to be examined and I am trustworthy, but that can't be said about all teenagers accessing these websites daily.

So, as a parent, my advice would be to do the following:

• Find out what forms of social media your children are using. Most sites have options that allow you to keep your profile private, to better ensure security and privacy. If you child is not utilizing these tools, suggest that they consider it in order to keep themselves, and their information safe.
• Regularly check what your children are posting to these sites. If there is questionable material, discuss these things with them in a calm, rational fashion. Don't fly off the handle immediately. After all, the more you open your mouth, the more they close their ears.
• Create an account on these social and media websites. Familiarize yourself with the territory, be aware of any security issues that may need to be addressed with your child, such as adult material, cyber bullying, etc.
• Do not, and I repeat do not, use social media as an attempt at being the "cool parent." If you are deemed of being "cool" it is because of your personality, not because you posted the newest youtube craze on your child's profile.
• Most importantly, trust your child. As with any issue, communication is key, and remaining informed and unbiased will help you, as a parent, keep your sanity when dealing with your child.

Our Life On Point middle school curriculum has a lesson called Serving with Pancakes. In this lesson students are to work as a family-- planning a meal, cooking pancakes, and enjoying the meal together. Well, groups at East Lake kicked it up a notch!

We decided to host a "camp in." In the middle school's cafeteria, students pitched tents, built mock campfires, and baked s'mores in toaster ovens. Each student had a responsibility, and before too long they joined in to help others with their responsibilities.

When everyone had a s'more and all tents were assembeled, each team sat around their campsite and talked about what it was like to serve a role in the group.  One student responded, "I was having so much fun, I forgot I was serving someone!"

What do you think of the additions to this lesson? We would love your feedback!

As I was walking through a high school recently, I noticed one thing that has not changed much in the ten years it's been since I graduated. I noticed guys and girls who were talking turning to violence to get their point across. Their point? I like you. Honestly, I was a little confused as I watched this happen around me. Mainly because this was not an elementary school playground, but a high school. In my experience teaching, this is a common occurrence in middle and high school. Because it is such a problem, I have begun discussing this topic in my classes quite frequently.

One day while I was teaching, a story from my own middle school days popped up in my head. When I was in eight grade, I was dating a ninth grader (lucky, huh?!) and my dad was taking him home from church. We were sitting in the back of my parent's car hitting each other. My dad got upset with both of us and you can imagine my embarrassment. When my boyfriend got out of the car, my dad wanted to talk to me about why the way we were behaving was not okay.  I told him that is the way that teens show they like someone. He then shared his wisdom that helped me understand why that was so harmful, both physically and emotionally. He explained that if I grew up thinking that violence is a way to express or show that you like or even love a person, that I would be more likely to marry someone who was abusive or that I would become an abusive spouse or mother.

Looking back on that story, I remember so clearly the lesson that I learned. I am so happy that my dad was able to catch that potentially destructive habit at an early age. As a parent, it is so important that we show our kids that real love is not shown through violent behavior, even if that behavior is subtle. We need to be very intentional in talking to them about teenage dating violence!

While teaching at East Lake Academy, I was allowed the opportunity to talk with several young ladies about true identity and a positive self-concept. After class on day one, a young lady pulled me aside, seeming very puzzled. "Ms. Faith, I need to speak with you," she demanded. Her mind was in shambles as she tried to sort through why her ex-boyfriend was breaking up with her to "talk" to some other young lady.  So many of our young ladies do not spend time building upon their self-esteem and becoming aware of who they are. They feel their identity is defined in a relationship with a young man, their sexuality, sporting the latest fashions, and the like. It was comforting hearing this young lady later say, "Thank you, Ms. Faith, for helping me realize it's okay to "do me" right now. "Do you" or "do me" is a common motto our young people have begun to adopt in their lives. "Doing you" allows our young people to become confident and comfortable in and with who they are. It relieves them of the pressure to become or portray someone else. I told the young ladies that it was okay to be selfish right now. "Now is the time for you to figure out who you are, what your dreams consist of, and to develop a plan to achieve your goals," is what I seem to repeat over and over again. What a sign of relief that young lady brought me, someone's getting the message!

New year, new you! That may be a bit of an overstatement, but there is some truth there. Setting goals is a great way to help us grow in our personal lives, and what better month to start than January! Setting goals can sometimes be overwhelming because we see what seems to be an impossible task to accomplish. I once heard the quote, "How do you eat an elephant?" One bite at a time!" That is a great example of having a big goal to accomplish, but starting with smaller goals instead. Small goals are a great way to reach the bigger goal.

A great way to start is by setting goals for yourself. Then, share those with your teen. As you share, begin to talk with them about the goals they could set for themselves.  Try to let them talk and open up to you about the goals they have for their lives. You may learn something new! Also, encourage them to set small goals to accomplish that larger goal. For example, if they are in middle school and want to be in a band when they grow up, a small goal could be trying out for their middle school band or finding an instrument they like and beginning private lessons. If they want to go to college, a small goal could be to make better grades every sememster from here on out. Whatever interest your child has, find a way to nurture that interest. It may, after all, be a passion of theirs that leads to a more abundant future.

So, no  matter where you are in life, setting goals can be the start to an even greater you! Always remember, even if you don't accomplish your goal today, there's always tomorrow and that gives you a fresh start!

101 Things to Do with Your Kids Over the Break

20 Serve On Point students from Hixson High School gathered last Friday to bring Christmas to those less fortunate than themselves. The group put up several Christmas trees and decorations throughout the entire center, making the season much brighter for the families. In addition to decorating the center, the students also held a canned food and warm clothing drive at their school. The teens collected canned goods to stock the center's pantry for Christmas as well as over 16 bags of clothing for the Community Kitchen.  The Serve On Point students dedicated a couple hours each week after school for two months to plan this project. We are so proud of their willingness to serve others!

On Tuesday, December 6th, 25 Middle School girls from East Lake Academy made Christmas cards for the residents at NHC Health Care Facility.

We had been focusing on topics of self discovery-who am I? What gifts do I possess? How do I share my spark and voice in my own community? As an educator, you always wonder if the students are going to get on board with whatever project you have come with.  Will they connect the dots with the project and what they've been learning?

The answer at East Lake...overwhelmingly, yes!

It was truly beautiful. Red and green construction paper, snowflake stickers, markers, glue sticks and scissors all manipulated by their inspired hands into some of the most kind-hearted, genuine cards I think I have ever seen. These girls didn't know who, specifically, they were creating these cards for; they just knew that these residents needed some cheering.

I think the most touching thing for me was going back to the school two days later to tell them thank you for making the cards. They eagerly asked if the residents liked them. They put such heart, creativity and thought into their gifts. I am humbled by this group.

Thanks girls, thanks for reminding me that it is not always the gift, but the heart of genuine joy and kindness that goes into the gift that matters the most!

These beautiful faces are members of our teen board, and they represent what we know is The Next Greatest Generation. These kids have amazing stories, which we already knew, but it wasn't until we sat down with them that we were really blown away by what they had to say. We knew that we couldn't keep their stories to ourselves, so that's why we are sharing them with you. Be sure to check out Mary Davis and Shaylind's stories now and stay tuned for more to come!

Welcome to All things teen.  On Point educators have been working in the schools with teenagers for over 20 years and in that amount of we’ve had the privilege of working with some pretty unique kids. This blog is dedicated to those unique kids. We’ll share stories, we’ll tell you about service projects on point teenagers are involved with and we’ll also share the joys and struggles of these outstanding teenagers with you. Remember to check back frequently, as we share the stories of the next greatest generation.